Cyberbullying and How to Deal with It

In 2022 19.2% of students surveyed nationwide, in grades 6-12 (ages 12-18), who reported being bullied during school, about 21.6% reported being bullied online or by text, including nearly twice as many girls (27.7%) as boys (14.1%) (National Victim Survey – School Crime Supplement).

One of the many reasons people may not want to connect online or use online applications is cyberbullying. Cyberbullying can have long-term consequences for the mental health of both youth and adults. It is important to understand how to prevent and deal with cyberbullying, should it occur to you or someone you know.

What is cyberbullying?

Cyberbullying takes place over digital devices like cell phones, computers, and tablets. Cyberbullying can occur via texting and messaging apps, or online in social media, forums, or gaming where people can view, participate in, or share content.

Cyberbullying includes sending, posting, or sharing negative, harmful, false, or mean content about someone else. It also includes sharing personal or private information about someone else to cause embarrassment or humiliation.

Cyberbullying can cross the line into unlawful or criminal behavior. Each state has different laws regarding cyberbullying. You can learn more about the laws regarding cyberbullying in Missouri through the Cyberbullying Research Center

How does cyberbullying occur?

It’s important to understand how cyberbullying occurs so it can be easily recognized, and we can take action to help children deal with cyberbullying. Some of the common tactics are:

Posting comments or rumors about someone online that are mean, hurtful, or embarrassing.
Threatening to hurt someone or telling them to kill themselves.
Posting a mean or hurtful picture or video.
Pretending to be someone else online in order to solicit or post personal or false information about someone else.
Posting mean or hateful names, comments, or content about any race, religion, ethnicity, or other personal characteristics online.
Creating a mean or hurtful webpage about someone.
Doxing, an abbreviated form of “documents”, is a type of online harassment used to exact revenge and to threaten and destroy the privacy of individuals by making their personal information public, including addresses, social security number, credit card and phone numbers, links to social media accounts, and other private data.

How can you tell if someone is possibly involved in cyberbullying?

The first step in preventing cyberbullying is to be aware of what kids are doing online. You need to know if your child is a victim of cyberbullying, witnessing cyberbullying, or is bullying other children online. Warning signs you should look for as a child uses their device include: (From stopbulling.gov)

Noticeable increases or decreases in device use, including texting.
Exhibiting emotional responses (laughter, anger, upset) to what is happening on their device.
Hiding their screen or device when others are near and avoids discussion about what they are doing on their device.
Social media accounts are shut down or new ones appear.
Avoiding social situations, even those that were enjoyed in the past.
Becoming withdrawn, depressed, or loses interest in people, hobbies, and activities.
Complaining about illness or physical symptoms to get out of going to school.
Difficulty sleeping. Almost 63% of victims report a lack of sleep as a psychological impact of being cyberbullied.
Talking about self-harm.

If you suspect your child may be involved in cyberbullying, take steps to investigate their digital behavior. Take the same approach as you would to any form of bullying. Make sure to provide support to the child being bullied, address the behavior of the bully or bullies involved, and make sure everyone understands that cyberbullying is taken seriously and can have serious consequences.

How can parents and youth prevent cyberbullying?

Responding to cyberbullying does require different approaches to address the issue. Some the things you can do to address the issue are:

Notice- Recognize if there has been a change in mood or behavior. Try to determine if these changes happen around a child’s use of their digital devices.
Talk – Ask questions to learn what is happening, how it started, and who is involved. Use active listening skills to get below the surface of conversations with youth.
Document – Keep a record of what is happening and where. Take screenshots of harmful posts or content. Most laws and policies note that bullying is repeated behavior, so records help to document it.
Report – Most social media platforms and schools have clear policies and reporting processes. If a classmate is cyberbullying, report it to the school. You can also contact app or social media platforms to report offensive content and have it removed. If a child has received physical threats, or if a potential crime or illegal behavior is occurring, report it to the police.
Support – Peers, mentors, and trusted adults can sometimes intervene publicly to positively influence a situation where negative or hurtful content posts about a child. Public intervention can include:
- Posting positive comments about the person targeted with bullying to try to shift the conversation in a positive direction.
- Reaching out to the child who is bullying and the target of the bullying to express your concern.
- Rallying around a victim of cyberbullying is a highly effective defense against bullies. Bullying works by trying to isolate a victim or have them feel isolated. When friends and other youth rally around a victim, it can thwart the bullies.
- Determining if more professional support is needed for those involved, such as speaking with a guidance counselor or mental health professional.
Teach internet safety. Making sure they understand about privacy, predators, phishing schemes, catfishing, and security.

Learn about their online friends and what they are doing online.

Let them know that you want to be aware of their online life and you will want to check on their online activities, friends, and files.

Help youth manage cyberbullying. Discuss what cyberbullying is and make sure they take any threats seriously. Teach them how to react to potential cyberbullying by ignoring or responding assertively and calmly to the person or persons doing the bullying. Identifying trusted adults that the child can speak to about potential cyberbullying.

Help youth build and maintain self-confidence. Having healthy self-esteem allows youth to be able to ignore or address cyberbullying.

Make sure youth understand you don’t approve of cyberbullying in any form and hold them accountable if they participate or witness cyberbullying.

What can youth do to help prevent cyberbullying?

Never respond to harassing or rude comments.
Save or print the evidence.
Talk to parents or a guardian if harassed; get help reporting this to your internet service provider, school, or local law enforcement.
Respect others online.
Only share passwords with a parent or guardian.
Change passwords often.
Password protect your cell phone.
Use privacy settings to block unwanted messages.
Think before posting or sending photos – they could be used to hurt you or someone else.
Contact the site administrator if someone creates a social networking page in your child’s name.

For more information on Cyberbullying:

What is Cyberbullying – https://www.stopbullying.gov/cyberbullying/what-is-it

School Crime Supplement– National Center for Education Statistics – https://nces.ed.gov/pubs2024/2024109rev.pdf

What is cyberbullying and how can it be prevented? – Mayo Clinic – https://mcpress.mayoclinic.org/parenting/what-is-cyberbullying-and-how-it-can-be-prevented/

Bullying – Mo Dept of Elementary and Secondary Education – https://dese.mo.gov/governmental-affairs/public-school-laws-missouri/bullying

Courage2Report – MO State Highway Patrol- https://www.mshp.dps.missouri.gov/MSHPWeb/Courage2ReportMO/index.html

Cyber-bullying: What Parents Can Do About it – The Center for Parenting Education –